McKenna is Three!

Our little family is about to embark on our first vacation as a foursome this Tuesday (along with some or our favorite people). Since we will be on a plane when McKenna celebrates her THIRD birthday (seriously?!?) I prepared her third year video early… and cried the whole time.

I love you my sweet, wild haired, stubborn, blue eyed girl. It is an absolute honor to be your Mama.

The Best Big Sister Ever

It’s Monday morning. Okay –  well I at least know it’s Monday, because your Dad just returned to work after a nice quiet weekend, but I’m not entirely sure it’s morning anymore.

Emilia has been fussing for going on 30 minutes because she is tired, but she is refusing to nap. She’s drooling up a storm and flat out miserable because that tooth on the bottom left just won’t break through. I sing her lullabies, and walk a slow pace around the house with her in the carrier pressed against my chest. The only place she is somewhat calm.

I see you, McKenna, sitting on the living room floor, on your fourth episode of Paw Patrol, and notice the bag of goldfish crackers at your feet. “McKenna!” I say, “where did you get those? You know you are supposed to ask Mama.” You look at me with your big blue eyes and shrug your shoulders. “Sorry Mama”, and hand them to me. I then look at the clock on the oven and realize it’s not morning time at all, it’s 12:45 PM. It’s been hours since breakfast, and I haven’t even started preparing your lunch. I immediately hand back the crackers and give you a hug, that familiar feeling of mama guilt washing over me. I start preparing you your favorite – tomato soup and grilled cheese. You go back to your puppies, unphased by the whole thing.

These days are in the minority, McKenna, but they definitely exist. And I need you to know, that on these days… I see you. I see you sitting quietly on the floor while I nurse your sister, preoccuping yourself with whatever knick knack you can find because mama left the playroom (basement) door shut. I see you, sneaking in the pantry for snacks because your sister is crying and mama hasn’t made you breakfast just yet. I see you, playing quietly with your blocks while your sister is sleeping, even though we both know how much you hate being quiet.

You, my girl, have made me so proud these past 5.5 months. When I think about how much your life has changed and just how well you are adjusting to all of these changes, my mama heart swells to three times its size. Not only have you risen to the occasion of being an excellent big sister, providing endless cuddles and kisses, retrieving diapers and soothers when needed, and sharing your toys with E when she is crying, you have also managed to potty train, self wean, almost dress yourself, and navigate your way through Netflix. And even though you of course have your difficult days (and a span of about 10 days where you were just plain rotten), they too are in the minority.

I promise you, my wild haired, beautiful little girl, that I see you. I see you and I love you and am thankful and in awe of you every single day, even though I may not have the time to say it. Thank you for being the best big sister ever and a pretty damn great daughter as well.




Little E, 5 Months Old

Okay Emilia, MONTHLY UPDATE TIME … and your first of many to come, hopefully!! I have to say if I thought the first 5 months of McKenna’s life went fast, I was seriously mistaken. I feel like everytime I blink you are a week older. I know that this is because I am twice as busy this time around, what with chasing a toddler around and all, but.. holy cow. How did this happen!??

Eating – I have been nursing you since Day 1 and it has been going splendidly. I had some issues with nursing your sister in the beginning, and let me tell you, that is most definitely not the case with you. You took to nursing like a champ in the delivery room and haven’t looked back since. I have intentions of nursing you for a full year and see no reason why we will not reach this goal. The one thing we do need to work on is bottles!!! You pretty much refuse them but its my fault for not giving you them more often. Your Dad and I are determined to get you used to taking one to give me a bit of freedom, and I am sure if we are persistent, you will grasp it in no time :).

Sleep – You are a great sleeper!! You take 4 or 5 naps during the day that aren’t particularly long but when it comes to nighttime, you are a boss. Around 7 you start to get super fussy in anticipation of your big rest. You then sleep until 3 – 5 in the morning. We do have bad nights sometimes however, just as all babies do, but overall I can mostly count on you for a great sleep each night (thank goodness!).

Looks – You look almost exactly like your sister. Same great big blue eyes, same wispy blonde hair, same widows peak. You differ in a few slight ways – whereas your sister has adorable little dimples in her cheeks, you have a solo dimple right near your nose which may be the cutest little thing I ever did see. Your cheeks are slightly less chubby, and your skin is a little bit darker, but other than that the two of you would pass for identical twins by looking at pictures.


E on the left, M on the right.

You are in size 2 diapers and weigh probably around 14.5 pounds. Your sister was 15.5 at this age :).

Milestones – You can roll both ways (for some time now) and when you are on your tummy, you have already started inching forward by pushing back with your feet. I am SO NOT READY for you to crawl (once again, that whole selfish wanting you to stay a baby for life thing) but it is about to happen. You also love your excersaucer and I plan to buy you a jolly jumper because you prefer standing to laying or sitting.

Personality -You love being outside and either fall asleep immediately or blabber my ear off as your sister and I hold hands walking around our favorite lake. You never ever cry when we are outside walking so it is always my fallback should you be having a fussy day.


You are a super smiley baby which we love cause once again, that nose dimple of yours is oh so cute. You are mild tempered, and take a lot of cuddling and overcrowding from your older sister, who just adores you SO MUCH she has an issue giving you any personal space most days!! I love seeing the two of you together and hope that this bond that you are building so fast and so young will last the both of you a lifetime.

We love you so, our little E. Here’s to another month of true happiness!!!!




10 Things We Love About E

Here are a few things I know about you already, Emilia:

1. You love life. You make that perfectly clear when you smile 100 times a day.

2. You love your family. This is clear because the sweetest of your smiles are saved for McKenna, your Dad, and I.


3. You are a mama’s girl, and I absolutely love it. I know it won’t last – soon you’ll be in on the big family secret – Daddy is waaay more fun – so I am soaking every second of it in.

4. You have a voice all of your own. You have no problems letting us know what it is you want, and you are bound and determined to get it. I used to think you’d be my  quiet child (because your sister can be VERY LOUD); but these wishful thoughts seem to be vanishing with every passing screech and loud babble. Your poor, poor father. Not only will he be surrounded by women for his entire life, but they will also be LOUD women.

5. You are strong. You are already rolling both ways and can hold your head up for super long periods. You have even attempted at CRAWLING and moved ahead a few inches (seriously – stop. Growing that is)!! You watch your sister with such fascination at all she does so I am pretty confident you’ll be an early mover and shaker.


6. You are an old soul. Nothing calms you like when I play the Frank Sinatra channel on Pandora.

7. You like books. Just like your sister. We read at the very least 5 during the day and you sit in on one at your sister’s bedtime – only one because McKenna has a hard time focusing on anything when you are around. She would much rather play with your toes or squeeze your cheeks or scream happily in your ears than listen to any storybook. You on the other hand, listen closely and stare curiously at the pictures.


8. You like to be snuggled. We have created another cuddle monster. During the day you will focus on an activity such as playing with a rattle or grabbing at a toy for a short period, and then demand to be held for a longer period. You would be happy if I could just hold and interact with you all day, but unfortunately it isnt quite possible, my love. I promise I do what I can :).

9. You love to sleep. Can I get a hallelujah? You are already miles ahead of your sister in the sleep department, and we have had more use of our crib in the past 4.5 months since you’ve came along than we ever did with McKenna. Thank you for that!!! :)

10. You are adored. I worried when I was pregnant that I wouldn’t attach as easily to you because I am so in love with your sister. I doubted that my heart could possibly love anymore. But you my dear, make all things possible, and I am quite positive that I could not love you anymore without my heart friggin’ exploding. Just ask your Dad about the bazillion texts I send him talking about how much I love you and your sister and how often it moves me to tears. You are so, so, deeply loved.


A Beautiful Life

I’ve talked on here about our miscarriage before – not ever in detail, because let’s be honest – it’s not something I like to talk about. But it is a story of grief all of it’s own, and that grief, the one of losing a child whom you never knew but imagined and dreamed and thought of and LOVED is as real as losing anyone else.

That’s why when yesterday, when a dear friend told me of a close family member losing her own baby, it was brought to the surface with that same rush of intense emotions. And then on top of that, social media was flooded with the classic “I’m pregnant!” April Fools jokes and all of a sudden, they really didn’t seem that funny.

The loss of an unborn but well thought of child is such a touchy subject. But I am pretty sure all of us can say we know someone effected by that loss, because it’s far too damn common. Whenever I hear of miscarriages and stillbirths it shakes my core because it comes with such a heavy handed “whyyyy”. Why the babies, why the innocents. It is a very real and true loss and to all you ladies out there who experience it, from one mama to another.. I feel you. I hear you. I respect and acknowledge that loss just as I would any other.

It was all this feeling yesterday that caused me to feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude all day then, and now today. These days come by every now and then, when I realize my blessings and the skies just seem a little bluer and the difficulties and personal struggles in my life are so diminished by the successes and gifts. I try to embrace these days for what they are worth because often times, the busyness of life and the to-dos overshadow the important things, and I don’t stop to take the time and admire my life for all it has given me.

I guess the whole point of this rambling is to save this for a later day – a post to remind me of this beautifully blessed, although imperfect life that I live. With the handsomest and most caring man, wonderful and solid family support, cozy and comfortable house, adorable fluffy pets, and of course – the cutest little bean that I get to spend the rest of my days loving, watching her grow and learn and thrive and flourish before my very eyes.

This; this life of mine, is a beautiful one.


15/16 Months

Here it is – a 2 for 1 update on your 16 month birthday!


The biggest milestone hit these past 2 months is definitely that you started walking. It’s funny – you spent so much time leading up to it, with months and months of standing independently, cruising, and using your walker to navigate the house – and then one day you pretty much just took off running and never looked back. It happened shortly after our return from Jamaica, but truth be told, you were almost walking prior to Jamaica but we hindered that progress by carrying you in our arms everywhere around the mostly cement resort.

You now spend your days at home toddling around, going through every open door and picking up any and every object along the way. It keeps you entertained for hours.



You are happiest when you are naked, which happens about half an hour or so a day. You run around gleefully as if you are finally FREE, and evade capture when we try to come at you with a diaper in hand. I look forward to saving on laundry when summer finally comes around and we can allow you to roam freely a little bit longer without worry of you catching a chill.

You are still very comfortably in size 4 diapers. You wear mostly 12-18 month clothing but can still fit some 6-12 month outfits as well. You are 21.5 pounds, so on the smaller size for your age but still look cute and chubby for your height :).

You babble nonstop. You are constantly experimenting with your voice, in true McKenna form, by letting out a constant array of shrieks and squeals and testing out different tones with your voice. You say quite a few words – hi, puppy, bird, bath and book to name the more recognizable ones – and then a couple that I feel only your father and I really can translate. We do get a kick out of you walking into whatever room we are in an letting out a pleasant high pitched "hi!" as if you are just so happy to see us. We are always happy to see you too, little bug.. The feeling is more than mutual.


Sign language is being used more frequently than before, because you are now seemingly starting to pick it up. It’s really exciting to see you sign when you’re tired, want more, or if you are all done with your meal. We are working towards mastering “milk” (which will be used as a general sign for all drinks) and “thank you”. You truly are learning things at such a rapid pace I’m sure we will have these signs mastered in no time!


You blow about a thousand kisses a day. When people are coming and going, when you are saying goodnight, or when people wave or look in your general direction, really. You also like to give kisses, and they are now more like kisses than open mouthed drooly ones. You also like to kiss inanimate objects – such as my iPhone, your binky (blankie), the television, your books.. Etc.

You know where quite a few body parts are located, and know what sound a cow, chicken, cat and dog make. Old MacDonald is your favourite song of the moment.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this here, but Curious George is still a giant hit and a nighttime staple around here. We watch it to help you wind down at the end of the day and it’s the only 20 minutes of the day you actually sit still. Put George on, and after dancing around like cray to the theme song, the rest of the world disappears for you. You have inherited your fathers knack for “zoning out” as it is impossible to get through to you at times like this. I call it karma for him :).
^^that up there? that’s your Curious George face.

Still love the puppy, and our latest edition, our budgie Petrie! Every morning we say hi to the birdie together and you visit him at least 5 times a day to talk/yell at him.


Still super attached to your binkie, but you have officially ditched the soother. Hurrah!

You still nurse about 2x a day – you had almost self weaned before we left on holiday and I panicked about not being able to confirm if the milk was pasteurized or not. Oh well, it will come soon I’m sure, as you drink milk from your sippy cup all day like a champ :).


I cannot even BELIEVE it has been a whole two months since I have written a word in this space!

SO MUCH has happened – we took our family trip to Jamaica (which I still promise to recap), we continued and made huge progress towards our wedding plans (we are now just a LITTLE over TWO MONTHS OUT, people!), McKenna started WALKING and TALKING and made such huuuuge leaps in her development (she knows quite a few of her body parts and a couple of animal noises!), and I applied for, and received a great full time job to start a week from today.

Yes, that’s right.. I am returning to work as discussed and as promised. This was entirely my idea – Matthew was completely content, and even pushing for me to stay home with McKenna for a longer period of time. But as much as I love being a stay at home Mum and hope to be able to do it again in the near future, I felt a pretty strong need to contribute financially to the household (especially with the upcoming wedding). Two other reasons for my return – our feeling that McKenna will really thrive in a dayhome setting interacting with other children, and the fact that maternity leave is just too great a benefit to pass up the second time (here in Canada, we get an entire 52 weeks!).

I have a HUGE mix of emotions about my return, and depending on the day/hour/minute/second, I am either looking forward to my return to work ,or crying my eyes out over the moments I will truly, truly miss. It is going to be a huge adjustment for this little family of 3, but I think now is the time. I am also very blessed that should it not be the right fit for us, I have the option to quit at anytime and either return to being a stay at home Mum or search for something with a little less hours.


I started the #100happydays project 2 days ago, as a way to help me look for the silver lining of each day. For those who have not heard, #100happydays is a personal journey to photograph and share 100 pictures in 100 days of something that is making you happy. I am an Instagram ADDICT so I knew I would have no problem committing to such a project, and I am so excited to see my results 98 days from now!

You can follow me on Instagram to watch me take on this project, or you can visit the #100happydays official website to sign up and participate yourself!

I also plan to start writing again to get my thoughts and feelings about this new transitional time in my life into words. Writing always helps me sort my emotions.

So with that, I am happy to say A Little Baby Bean is back in action!Image


Fourteen Months


It feels like these months are really starting to fly by. I ask again – weren’t you just born, like, yesterday? Anyways…

Sleep-wise, nothing much to report that wasn’t already covered this week. But now that you are sleeping like a rockstar, your nap schedule has become a little wonky. I think you are slowly transitioning to one nap and it’s kinda got you all messed up. You are exhausted by the time you take your usual morning nap but have SUCH a hard time falling asleep, so you stay awake until you are about ready to fall over at 1pm. I am letting you take the lead on this one because I feel with our upcoming vacation any routine that I may TRY and put in place will end in epic failure. So for now, you run the show.142

Food-wise, you eat anything we do and love MOST things. Things you won’t touch (a much shorter list than the stuff you will) include red peppers, strawberries, peas, and green beans.

We are down to nursing TWICE A DAY. You did this all on your own. You wake once at 5:30 AM(ish) and I nurse you then too.

The biggest news of this month is definitely that you are now WALKING. You can take upwards of 15 steps between rooms before settling down on your bum and crawling the rest of the way. I keep telling everyone that will listen that I’m sure you will take off running when you see the ocean next week (aka – give me a heart attack).

You know where your hair, nose, and bellybutton are. Three very random things, I know. But you are obsessed with the hair on my head (as in you love to pull it) and always reach up to yours when I ask where it is. Nose is a new development; until yesterday you were certain it was located on your ear. Bellybuttons are somewhat of an obsession around here.

You are still a little dancing machine, and love any upbeat songs that you can wiggle your bum too. You prefer when I have the radio on the pop station, but I can only listen to it for so long. You can handle alternative for a little bit, but my personal favorite, dubstep, does not seem to be a hit. Yet.

You LOVE dressup. If we leave ANY article of clothing on the floor you are trying to put it on your head, then you parade around as if you are doing a fashion show. You love to wear your Dad’s hat and my sunglasses most of all. Yesterday I witnessed you *trying* to put my boot on your foot. I look forward to many days spent playing dressup with you.144141

Your glockenspiel is still your favorite toy by far, and you bang on the keys until they fall off.

Still attached to your green fuzzy blankie, but thankfully any fuzzy blankie seems to do, as you quite often throw it on the floor outside causing it to be washed weekly. You also love pillows, and love being on your father and I’s bed and throwing yourself into them, laughing hysterically, until you are absolutely exhausted.

You are currently working on SIX TEETH at the moment, and who knows maybe more. You don’t let me get my fingers in far enough to feel if you are working on your molars yet, but we have definitely had a few difficult nights this month. Poor little bug.


I’ll eat you up, I love you so. xo