“Motherhood looks good on you…”

I had an old friend say this to me yesterday. I could have kissed her.

As a new mother, I sometimes (okay, ALWAYS) struggle with whether or not I am doing a good job. As I am relatively young (25), I do not have the privilege of having many friends in my immedate circle with young children. I do have three women I tend to go to for most of my mothering questions, but I have no one who is going through this process with me at this exact specific time.

Does it get lonely? Sure, at times. Do I feel like I am at a disadvantage? Not really.. I feel like being the only one with a newborn gives me an advantage in some ways – that I CAN navigate this unknown territory alone and I am not bombarded with opinions from friends as to how to mother my child. I also know that in the future several of my friends will likely turn to me when they start mothering their own children, and I take that as a huge compliment.

I get most of my information, as previously mentioned, from three outstanding ladies always willing to help when I have a question, from the Dr. Sears website (as my “style” of parenting, if I have one, would likely be dubbed attachment parenting; Dr. Sears is the founder of the naming of this style), and lastly, from bloggers. The blogs I follow which are mommy blogs are blogs that I find similarities of opinions on more often than not, and they have been a tremendous resource for me thus far.

But at the same time, I do feel like I am wading through waters unknown somedays. I feel like a fish out of water (sorry for the two cliches in a row!) more often than not, and at the end of the day, I can feel guilty for it. Guilty that McKenna still doesn’t have a bedtime in place, and more often than not ends up in our bed by 4 in the morning, guilty that I sometimes pump because it’s easier for her to take a bottle than the breast, especially on a fussy day, & guilty for sometimes forgetting tummy time (to name a few!).

But then I hear a compliment like I did yesterday, and it helps me check myself, and most of all, check McKenna. McKenna is happy. McKenna is healthy. McKenna loves Matt & I so much, we can already tell.

And at the end of the day, I have to remember it’s okay to break the rules and not follow the book. In this new position as stay at home mum, McKenna is my boss, the only one I have the need to answer to. And as long as my adorable little boss is happy and healthy, I am doing my job just fine. 🙂

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