Another Friday, another week of memories with my beautiful McKenna.
Why is it that once we have children time seems to fast forward? I cannot believe in just a mere week she will be 4 months. When I was pregnant, I thought time was crawling so slowly, especially in that third trimester, in the anticipation of her arrival into this world.
Now that she is here, I find myself watching life as it races past, everyday filled with a collection of moments that I do not want to allow myself to forget. I discovered very early on that motherhood comes with such a mix of emotions – a feeling of constant excitement for the next developmental milestone that is around the corner, and then a twang of remorse for that period of time that has passed which you will never get back. McKenna will soon be walking and talking, and that little spark of personality that she has already has will become so much larger. I have no doubt she will be one of those children who brings a smile to every person that she meets. But in the same breath, McKenna will never again be that tiny, 5 pound 15 ounce newborn, that came into our lives so suddenly, slept 20 hours a day and longed to be held by her mother or father, every single second.
When I was a child, I never gave thought to how fast time must have passed for my own mother. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee no child ever does consider this. We are all in such a rush to grow up. But now since becoming a mother, I am increasingly aware of how fragile time is. I never want to forget a single moment in time.. her first coo, her first smile, her first grasp, her first moments of distinct awareness.
In an effort to capture all of these moments, I have no less than 4 journals started, dedicated to all that is McKenna. It started nearly a year ago with my pregnancy journal, and has now been developed to include a baby book, a scrapbook, and this little online site. Sometimes I find myself recording memories more than once. One day I am sure, she, much like myself, will ask her mother to see these books, chronicling these precious moments in time, and I will be able to provide her with an assortment of books in which we collected as much information and details as we could. And one day, she may even want to take these memories from me and keep them for herself, to show her future children. This is where this duplication will come so in handy.
In yet another effort to record one of the most amazing experiences of my life, I will be using the next 2 Friday’s to recapture McKenna’s birth story, as I remember it, for our little family to look back on. The third Friday – April the 12th, will mark the one year anniversary of the day that I found out I was pregnant – another story I wish to share on this little blog space. Although no words can recapture the feelings, emotions, and love shared on those very precious days, I have to at least attempt to put those feelings into words, so that I can share them with McKenna one day. Her birth was the most amazing day of my human experience thus far, although now with McKenna by my side and in my life, I know that day will be surpassed by many others.
Motherhood is such a gift – a gift I relish, a gift I treasure. It is without a doubt the greatest journey that my life has ever taken me on. As I grow more confident in my mothering skills, and get to know this little person that I created out of love with the man who I love, I truly, truly believe I was made for this. That everything in my life, the good and the bad, brought me up to this series of moments which are passing so quickly I can hardly get a grasp on them. That is why I must record every moment as best as I can, for McKenna’s future, and for her father & I, so that we all never forget. Never forget these beautiful times, wherein a little girl was born, and with each passing day, changed our lives a little bit more for the better.
We love you McKenna, more than you will ever know.