Siblings

This past week, one of your godmother’s, your Auntie Helen, came for visit. It was her first time seeing you since New Year’s Day and we loved spending quality time with her, and showing her just how much you had grown.

I felt really sad when we had to say goodbye on Friday night.

Your Auntie Helen and I have not always been close. In fact, when we were children, we fought quite frequently. We have always been complete opposites – she, a little bit of an introvert and quiet;  me, an extrovert and loud (VERY loud – I still remember not being allowed at a certain friend’s house when her grandmother was sleeping, because I was always talking IN SUCH A LOUD VOICE, and I think every report card in grade school made reference to my non-stop talking). We shared no common hobbies or interests, and these differences caused us to clash quite often. Neither of us considered the other a friend. I drove her crazy and was constantly in her face; and more often than not, she simply ignored me (or tried, anyways).

But our mother, your Granny, used to always tell us that one day we would grow to be friends. Friends? Yah right. But she spoke from personal experience – her three best friends were her 3 older sisters. I remember her spending many, many hours a week on the phone with your Auntie Ethel, talking about nothing and everything all at the same time.  Your Auntie Helen and I would roll our eyes at our mother, because there was NOOOO WAY that would EVER happen to the two of us!

But as with all other things, McKenna, our darling mother was correct. Sometime in the past 5 years or so, your Auntie Helen and I have embraced each other for our differences, accepted each other as individuals and formed a really great friendship.

Our mother passed away when your Auntie Helen was 16, and I was 13. After her sudden passing, as far as immediate family went, it was just the two of us for a very long time. And still, it took awhile for the two of us to begin to build a friendship. But it happened. We attended church together, had coffee together, went for dinners, and somehow in the midst of these outings, we became friends. Because even though we were still complete opposites, we had one very big thing in common – our childhood.

Now that your Auntie Helen is now married, your father & I now engaged, and of course with your recent happy arrival, we are both thrilled that our immediate family is now growing. I know our mother is also smiling down from heaven that we have grown – finally! – to be close (and perhaps thinking “I told you so” – multiple times a day).

Your father & I both want you to have a sibling of your own. It is an important life lesson and a very necessary relationship.

But I want you to know that when that time comes, the two of you are going to fight – A LOT. To expect anything less would make me nothing short of an idiot. But my hope for you is the same as my mother’s was for us, that the two of you will grow to love and respect each other, in spite of your differences. It may not happen right away, it may not happen while you are children, teenagers, young adults, but it will happen. Just ask your father – he has three siblings of his own, who too have shared their own ups and downs. But at the end of the day they all love each other no matter what. And one day you will realize the importance of having a brother or sister relationship in your life, just as we did.

A sibling is a lifelong friend – someone who is tied to you by blood, and who will always be there. Who will share memories with you that no one else will know. The memories my dear, that you will never want to forget. 

So please remember – when that little brother or sister of yours is DRIVING YOU CRAZY, whether she is reading your diary, “creeping” on your Facebook, or telling your crush that you loooove them, that this time will pass. One day the two of you will really value your relationship, just as I value the relationship I now have with your Auntie Helen.

I am not oblivious to the fact that as you read this, you are likely rolling your eyes, just as your Auntie and I did many years ago. But I also happen to know, that just as we realized, you will come to see that I am right.

Because trust me my darling – mother always knows best :).

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