My Darling McKenna,
Be it your excitement from today’s events or the long nap you took late this afternoon, you did not feel like sleeping when bedtime rolled around tonight.
And, instead of me persisting with trying to get you to sleep, I rolled with the punches and opened your bedroom door. You crawled out, quite gleefully, and played with your toys happily for the next 2 hours.
You walked around with your walker, and played with your wooden bead toy. We played with Lego, you (as always) smashing any structure I would build with such satisfaction. We played peekaboo with your favorite blue scarf, and you laughed joyfully, contagiously. You didn’t show an ounce of grumpiness for staying up late, and I allowed you to play happily until you began to yawn, close to 10:00 PM.
After I tucked you in, cozy and warm, gripping your favourite green fuzzy blankie close to your chest, I felt compelled to write this post about our evening. It may sound so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but it’s these moments, these tiny, tender, beautiful, bonding moments, that have all built up on top of each other to create the most memorable, most life changing year of my existence.
I also felt compelled to share the importance I feel in breaking our routine now and then. Some of my own fondest childhood memories come from times when my own mother strayed from the norm, be it allowing your Auntie and I to stay up past our bedtime, taking us on a special trip to the mall, or even just to allowing us to eat sweets that we normally would not (like cinnamon buns the size of our heads).
They say that babies thrive on routine, but I think it is safe to say that babies and children alike delight just as much on the occasional break from it. I want to never forget this insight, as you grow older and enter toddlerhood. Want to remember the expression of joy on your face when your mama sat on the kitchen floor and played with you and your toys, well past your bedtime. Because one day, you will no longer find joy in these moments. You will be a teenager with friends and a life completely your own that I as your mother will only be able to try to understand.
In a mere nine days you will be 1. I cannot even describe the intensity of emotions that comes with such an important milestone. But I can tell you that these moments, these small treasured moments, are the things I will hold onto from your first year of infancy. I promise to continue to surprise you, to break free from the norm, to allow us chances like this to bond. As we approach the day that marks one year passed, I look ahead to so many more of breaking the rules with you, my favourite, my own little love.
I love you forever.