January Fourteenth

Today marks 13 years since my beloved mother passed away.

Grief is such a funny thing – It is constantly changing. It takes different forms and makes us feel different feelings, but the one thing that is always the same is the longing. The longing for time, more words spoken, less moments wasted.

I still long for my mother every single day, but my grief has once again transformed this year. It has reached an entirely different stage, where it has never been before, and even though it still hurts my heart every time I think of her, this year the hurt is different. Lessened. The reason being is that I can now confidently say I have become a person my mother would be proud of. The person I imagine she’s always wanted me to be. And that, makes it hurt a little less this year. That brings peace to my heart that I never knew could be possible, because I feel that she too, is at peace.

My journey of growing up a motherless daughter will never be over. But I am on a new journey, a journey of motherhood and I am so proud of the person I have come, the struggles I have conquered, the family I belong to, and the daughter I am raising. And all of this goodness is because of her, and the million of invaluable lessons she taught me in the short 13 years we were together.

I love you Mum. I will always, always be your baby girl.

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